Joke of the day.

[framus]

While I was out and about, I snagged a picture of a famous celebrity:

Angelina Jolie

[framus]

[framus]

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event
hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of
extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom
approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.
Is something bothering you?'

'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It
looks like you have seen a lot of action.'

'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said,
'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.


Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this
the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'

' 1955, ma'am.'

'Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking
everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand
and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several
times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest
and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious
voice, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'

[framus]

A woman standing in front of the mirror
in their bedroom says to her husband, "Oh, I think I look fat
and ugly lately. Can you complement me somehow to make me feel
better about myself?"
The husband replies, "You have perfect vision."

[framus]

Photoshop is awesome: